For the past 7 years one of the most awkward questions I get asked when I meet someone new is "so do you have any siblings?". Completely innocent, just getting to know you kinda question. I always answer with a reserved yes or no depending on the time I have to explain to my story. Yes, I have a sibling. For 21 years I had my wonderful sister Stacy. She past away 7 years ago from MS. Tonight I find myself missing her. We are going through and packing up our house again and I came to the beautiful hand crafted chest that sits under my window in our bedroom. This chest was Stacy's. In I have a number of different things that belonged to her. I hadn't gone through the chest in awhile and I couldn't quiet remember what was in it.
I was sharing with Tim tonight that for the past number of years I've kept these items put away. I didn't want to continue to dwell in the death of my sister. She followed Christ and I have a greater hope. As I went through these things tonight I so badly wanted to see her. Introduce her to Layla and see them cuddle together. I miss her. But I have hope and faith.
Out of this chest I pulled out a poem that I had written to her when I 15 and she was moving out of the house on to her own. It's encased in a really cheap dollar store frame that I bought for it 15 years ago and beside the poem are pictures of me and her. So I think I'll stop by the store and pick out a little better frame and hang it in my house. One day when Layla is a bit bigger she'll ask me about it. I can share Auntie Stacy stories with her and I can share with Layla the hope that Stacy had in Christ and how one day she'll be able to meet her.
This doesn't have much to do with Lent, I guess I'm just feeling sentimental.
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Touching none-the-less.
ReplyDeletePeople have a tendency to want to "give up things" for lent (chocolate, meat, or maybe food in general) but it's important for people to realize that lent is about "adding something" to your life that was absent before (like lunch-time prayer, fasting, or reading more scripture).
I think you make a (possibly unconscious) decision here to "give up" burying feelings or emotions about your sister and rather making a very poignant step in "adding" some memories of Stacy to your everyday life by a simple task like changing something as insignificant as a a picture frame. I also think it's important to "add" the element of your sister early in Layla's life.
Kudos. The Lord works in mysterious ways.
Cat and I love you guys,
Jamie
Beautiful.
ReplyDeleteThanks Jamie - that really means a lot. I think I'm ready and I want to have those things in my life everyday
ReplyDeleteIt never ceases to amaze me how my not knowing Chris' brother makes me wonder what I don't know about Chris. Jay was such a part of Chris. They were best friends more than just brothers. I often think of what I'm missing of Chris, and how to get it out of him, or get it back.
ReplyDeleteI think what you are talking about here is exactly the point. Resting on that greater hope as the starting point for freedom in remembering, and sharing, and introducing others to the other bits of yourself.
I can't wait to meet you some more.
Isn't God amazing. He shows us so much love, comfort and has such big shoulders for all of our burdens and gives us so much Hope! My faith has increased because of this Hope since Stacy's passing, because I know I will get to see her again......"I Can Only Imagine"
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