Day 26 - March 17

OK so blogging really has some down sides. On Day 28 I talked about my last words and how I want my last words to my husband to be full of love and kindness and how I should treat all my words as my last words because we don't know when our lives will end. SO what do I do today, just two simple days after I write that - I'm short tempered and unkind. Don't read into this that Tim did something and I reacted. It's not even that justifiable. I was grouchy and feeling stressed out about our up coming move and I aloud my emotions to control my actions and my attitude.

My friend and I where chatting on Sunday about what Paul writes in Romans 7:15 "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." How is that I can know what I want to do and what I should do and then allow myself so easily to fall into the trap of my emotions and do what I hate? In Luke 6:45 it is says "For out the overflow his heart his mouth speaks" hmmmm so this is how I really see the state of my heart I look at my words.

I am very, very thankful for gracious God . The last part of 2 Cor 6:2 says "now is the day of salvation" I am so glad that I can repent. I can see my actions and see my heart and ask God to change me. Today. Today I can continue to receive Christ salvation, the payment for my sins. God continues to save me from myself, from my sinful nature. I am thankful that salvation is a continuing act, that "we continue to work out our salvation" (Phil 2:12)

I am also thankful for a very patient husband.

Day 28 - March 15

Over the past few days God has really been focusing me on my words. The words that leave my lips hold so much. Tonight I was thinking about my last words. Maybe this is a bit extreme but I was thinking about what my last words to my husband, Tim will be. None of us know how many days have been assigned to us. I don't know who will go to see Jesus first Tim or me. I am trying to plan it out that we both pass away when we are about 96 in each others arms. However I have a feeling that it might not happen that way. The thought of Tim passing away almost breaks me. I don't think of it often so please don't think I'm too morbid. Again though tonight I was thinking of what my last words will be. I really don't want them to be angry or biting like they can be. Or critical, Or harsh, Or selfish. So what if in my conversations with Tim I treated the words I speak with the thought in my mind that I don't know what the day holds so I better choose my words with care and with love. Because I know what I would say if I was sitting by his bedside or him by my bedside with the last breath in my chest. My words would be filled with hope, with love, with kindness.

What would my words look like if I took this thought to the other relationships in my life. With my family and my friends. My words would be much different. They would be filled with grace. The little annoyances would be over looked. I would simply love them and lay down my selfishness.

Day 36 - March 7

Dictionary.com has the definition of the word abundant as the following:

1. present in great quantity; more than adequate; oversufficient:
2. well supplied;
3. richly supplied:

One could easily read John 10:10 and assume that an abundant life means many possessions or money in the bank or some sort of material item or even a relationship like marriage or kids. Yet when we look at what means to have an abundant life and follow Christ it doesn't necessarily mean physical blessings. When I look at this definition however I realize that I do have an abundant life. I have the grace of God that is present in great quantity. I am well supplied for this life and for eternity through what Jesus did on the cross. And I am richly supplied through the mercy, love and hope that I get to live in everyday. AND on top of all this God has blessed me with a marriage, a child, a home and so many other numerous blessings. Life is not easy and there is no promise of that in Bible. So in those moments when life feels like it might just break me this time I need to remember that because I walk with the Creator I can have joy because I have a Saviour. I don't need things to have an abundant life I just need Jesus. HIS grace is sufficient for me.