Day 5 - April 8

Last week I had what I thought was a great complement from someone. They thought I was only 20! HAHA what great thing. I'm 28 soon to be 29 and next year 30 will be here. Then I was thinking why was it such a great complement? Why is getting older a negative thing? For those of us who follow Christ getting older should be a glorious thing! Everyday is another day closer to when we get to see and be with Jesus. And if I am to love the Lord with all my heart, soul and mind one day getting to being with Jesus should be so exciting to me. We have this hope for eternity.

But I know why it was such a great complement and why I/we have a desire to stay young it's because I/we do not have an eternity mind set. My eyes so often are focused just on the world around me. I mean it's easy to do. It's easy to look at the problems around me or focus in on my worries or troubles. But when I put on the filter of eternity do those problems, worries, troubles or even pleasures seem to mater as much? If I could keep my eyes focused on the end of race it will force me to remain in the race. So yay for age and this little lines around my eyes and those gray hairs that are starting already. Bring on 30, 40 , 50 or how ever many days or years God grants me. "For me to live is Christ and to die to gain"

So while I am here on this earth and in light of eternity I need to remain focused on things that God has called me too. Being a wife, raising Layla, being apart of a church family, and sharing Christ's love with all that might meet(with words and with action)

In light of eternity this should effected my decisions. How I spend my time (like I mentioned above)as well as how I spend money. In light of eternity do I need the car that I drive or to buy the latest clothing for me or Layla - hmmm I struggle with that last one. In light of eternity do I need another pair of shoes or a new decor item for our house? hmmmm I seem to struggle with all these... I'm not saying that we shouldn't make our houses feel welcoming or we should dress in rags and just hand me downs but I think I really need to take stock in what I need in light of eternity and what I just get sucked into buying because my eyes are only focused on this world.

In light of eternity what will your day look like?

Day 26 - March 17

OK so blogging really has some down sides. On Day 28 I talked about my last words and how I want my last words to my husband to be full of love and kindness and how I should treat all my words as my last words because we don't know when our lives will end. SO what do I do today, just two simple days after I write that - I'm short tempered and unkind. Don't read into this that Tim did something and I reacted. It's not even that justifiable. I was grouchy and feeling stressed out about our up coming move and I aloud my emotions to control my actions and my attitude.

My friend and I where chatting on Sunday about what Paul writes in Romans 7:15 "For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." How is that I can know what I want to do and what I should do and then allow myself so easily to fall into the trap of my emotions and do what I hate? In Luke 6:45 it is says "For out the overflow his heart his mouth speaks" hmmmm so this is how I really see the state of my heart I look at my words.

I am very, very thankful for gracious God . The last part of 2 Cor 6:2 says "now is the day of salvation" I am so glad that I can repent. I can see my actions and see my heart and ask God to change me. Today. Today I can continue to receive Christ salvation, the payment for my sins. God continues to save me from myself, from my sinful nature. I am thankful that salvation is a continuing act, that "we continue to work out our salvation" (Phil 2:12)

I am also thankful for a very patient husband.

Day 28 - March 15

Over the past few days God has really been focusing me on my words. The words that leave my lips hold so much. Tonight I was thinking about my last words. Maybe this is a bit extreme but I was thinking about what my last words to my husband, Tim will be. None of us know how many days have been assigned to us. I don't know who will go to see Jesus first Tim or me. I am trying to plan it out that we both pass away when we are about 96 in each others arms. However I have a feeling that it might not happen that way. The thought of Tim passing away almost breaks me. I don't think of it often so please don't think I'm too morbid. Again though tonight I was thinking of what my last words will be. I really don't want them to be angry or biting like they can be. Or critical, Or harsh, Or selfish. So what if in my conversations with Tim I treated the words I speak with the thought in my mind that I don't know what the day holds so I better choose my words with care and with love. Because I know what I would say if I was sitting by his bedside or him by my bedside with the last breath in my chest. My words would be filled with hope, with love, with kindness.

What would my words look like if I took this thought to the other relationships in my life. With my family and my friends. My words would be much different. They would be filled with grace. The little annoyances would be over looked. I would simply love them and lay down my selfishness.

Day 36 - March 7

Dictionary.com has the definition of the word abundant as the following:

1. present in great quantity; more than adequate; oversufficient:
2. well supplied;
3. richly supplied:

One could easily read John 10:10 and assume that an abundant life means many possessions or money in the bank or some sort of material item or even a relationship like marriage or kids. Yet when we look at what means to have an abundant life and follow Christ it doesn't necessarily mean physical blessings. When I look at this definition however I realize that I do have an abundant life. I have the grace of God that is present in great quantity. I am well supplied for this life and for eternity through what Jesus did on the cross. And I am richly supplied through the mercy, love and hope that I get to live in everyday. AND on top of all this God has blessed me with a marriage, a child, a home and so many other numerous blessings. Life is not easy and there is no promise of that in Bible. So in those moments when life feels like it might just break me this time I need to remember that because I walk with the Creator I can have joy because I have a Saviour. I don't need things to have an abundant life I just need Jesus. HIS grace is sufficient for me.

Day 37 - March 6

In 1979, just a year before I was born, Gloria Gaynor topped the charts with "I will Survive". I think all of us have belted this song out. Those catchy lyrics will get you every time. Even as I type the song is rolling around in my head. However, I really am not a fan of the word survive. So often we hear or say "All I need to do is survive today". Yet if you are a Christ follower we are really called to much more then just surviving. In John 10:10 Jesus said "The thief comes only to steal , and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly."

Today I caught myself simply just trying to survive and make it to tomorrow. I had a long to-do list, Layla was fussy, sleep was short the night before and I was feeling strangely alone. The first part of the John 10:10 verse was very applicable in my life today and I allowed it to happen. I allowed the thief to come in and steal my joy, kill my peace and destroy my focus. I was dragged into guilty, self pity state that left me in tears and feeling completely inadequate. I am so thankful that Jesus did not end the verse there. He came that we might have LIFE and not just any life but life in abundance. So I am still working this out in my brain and in my heart. So I think I will leave this here tonight and do some more processing tomorrow about the second part of this verse. Tomorrow I do not want to simply survive, tomorrow I want to live and live abundantly.

Day 38 - March 5

We just got back yesterday from a great vacation with my parents. Tim, Layla, Grandma, Grandpa and I headed to the Los Angeles area to simply hang out for a few days in the warm sunshine and escape from winter. We had a great time. One of my favorite moments of the trip happened on the day we arrived. We were walking at an outdoor outlet mall. Tim, Layla and my mom were walking ahead of my dad and me. I asked my dad "So how does it feel to see Layla" (my parents adore their only grandchild) he replied "Oh it makes my life". hmmmm that brought me to tears.
I am really learning how important people are. Relationships. Life really does come down to simply that. Relationship with Christ - which is amazing that we get to have that- Relationship with your spouse, with your kids, with your family, with your friends.
Possessions, nice house in the right neighbourhood, a nice car, the right title at work all these things really don't matter especially if you have to sacrifice relationship to achieve any of these things.
There is a Sara Groves song that I love (well one of many) Its called "Just One More Thing". The line I love is : "The end of your life your relationships are all you've got"
It so true. So I want to invest in people, in relationships, in experiences with my family. Cheese ball as its sounds I want those memories that last a life time. Those inside jokes with your friends and family. You know those jokes where all you have to do is say one line and you all crack up in laughter (Mom & Dad - "I can't feel my legs" )

I hope you enjoy this video




Thanks Tim, Mom and Dad for putting all the one things on hold for the past few days and for making memories that we can treasure and one day share with Layla

Here are the lyrics to "Just One More Thing'

There's always just one more thing
There's always another task
There's always I just have one more small favor to ask
And everything is urgent and everything is now
I wonder what would really happen if I stopped somehow
I'll be there in a minute
Just a few places to go
You wake up a few years later and your kids are grown
And everything is important
But everything is not
At the end of your life your relationships are all you're got

And love to me is when you put down that one more thing
and sayI've got something better to do
And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say
Nothing will come between me and you
Not even one more thing

There will never be an end to
The request upon your time
It's your place to stand up and tell the world
You've got to rest awhile
And everything is important
But everything is not
At the end of your life your relationships are all you've got

And love to me is when you put down that one more thing and say
I've got something better to do
And love to me is when you walk out on that one more thing and say
Nothing will come between me and you
Not even one more thing

Day 45 - February 26

Almost 6 1/2 years ago I said "I do". Tim is an amazing and caring husband. I am continually thankful each day that God brought us together. Tim and I are in the process of learning more and more about communication with one another. With no TV to distract us for the 45 days I think it will a great time to learn more about communication in marriage.

This is the first year of marriage that we have really taken the time to "work" on our marriage. We try and keep Monday mornings set aside to spend time together focused on this. We've been watching a marriage podcast together and spent time asking each other the hard questions that followed. Over the past number of weeks though we've strayed from our Monday mornings together and have allowed schedule or sickness to get in the way with out replacing that time later in the week. Last night we both really noticed how our communication with each other has suffered and how working on your marriage always needs to happen regularly. One thing I want to learn during Lent and of course continuing on after is how to lay down my selfishness in my marriage. I am so quick to desire to be served or to get my way or have all of my many opinions heard.

Phil 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.

In my life I need to consider Tim and Layla better than my self. I need to lay down my selfish desires and serve. OK - so easy to type , so hard to live out. I just thank God that He is not done with and that He and Tim have much forgiveness for me when I turn on the selfish switch.